Welcome back my sweet journalers! If you’re new here, I’m so happy you’ve found your way to the Journality community today! We have an important topic that’s been on my mind the entire month of August. To give some (brief) context- I am a Summer-lover through and through. I’m not into fall festivals or apple cinnamon candles. I can’t stand chilly nights where I need a sweater or else I’ll shiver uncontrollably. It’s just simply not. my. thing. However, I’ve been working on this, because each year I get such strong seasonal depression knowing that Summer is ending and Winter is coming!! It gets me SO stressed, anxious, dreadful and *insert all other negative emotions here*. I’d love nothing more than to not feel this existential dread every 10 months (give or take) but its become painstakingly obvious that this is a recurring event that began in my early years of elementary school. Each August, anxiety and a familiar pain in my chest would wash over me completely when seeing those ‘Back to School’ commercials or when people began speculating on the cool, Fall weather getting imminently closer. Even at the young age of 9, I had severe anxiety throughout this entire month. Ironically, I went to school to be a teacher (but that’s a tale for another day).
All this to say, I never questioned these patterned sensations and chalked it up to normal emotions. I’m sure no one ever wanted Summer to end either! But, as I became an adult, I started to notice that people actually like other seasons... Not only do they not become depressed from October-March, but they actually appreciate each season for its unique weather and spirited traditions. I started to realize, I had severe seasonal anxiety/depression and I began to wonder why. I want to live in the moment and be grateful for what each season brings. I’m striving to be in this place. But, I first had to understand where this came from. Let me explain: scarcity mindset. For me, Summer represents no school, going fun places, beautiful beach days, camping and SO much more. All of the wonderful activities I took part in as a child. Of course I never wanted those days to end. Which seems perfectly reasonable. But, what I started to notice was that this feeling of ‘not wanting it to end’ started to hit me earlier and earlier. Some years, I’ve had this feeling as early as mid July-when Summer is in its prime! When I notice these feelings, this tells me that I am coming from a scarcity mindset or from lack-based thinking. This means that rather than enjoying each and every moment I have of Summer, I’m prematurely ruining it for myself by worrying about the time that I don’t have. I know, it sounds counterproductive right? Well, it is. Summer comes and goes, and each year I realize that I've spent so many days wishing it would never end rather than enjoying the long nights and warm sunshine. I decided it was time for a change. Maybe I too could post my Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks on Instagram on August 29th (yes I had to Google the date of Starbuck’s Fall drink menu). Maybe I too could pick apples and revel in the comfort of oversized sweatshirts. Maybe I’ve been missing out? I want to approach this topic with gratitude and appreciation. I want to be grateful for every day that I have on this beautiful earth rather than spending so many moments wishing it away. I started to seriously journal about these feelings over the past couple of years. Every August (or July) when these Debbie-Downer feelings creep in, I sit with my emotions and I write out all of my feelings. I’m trying to validate my feelings and acknowledge that my inner-child fears the unknown and excels in the excitement of Summer. I’m sending her extra love and compassion this time of year, I know she’s trying her best and didn’t realize the patterns she was setting way back then. Now, I try to remind her (and me) of all the beautiful things that happen throughout each season. I actually go through and force myself to think of things I somewhat like about each change. This can be applied to anything in your life that you’re feeling scarcity towards. Some other examples may be: the end of a vacation/weekend, lack-based mindset with money/feeling like you don’t have enough, fear of missing out on fun events when you scroll through Instagram, to name a few. If you can relate to this feeling of not-enoughness, take out your journals and follow along with these prompts:
I hope you found this session helpful and if you’re dealing with the anxieties that come from the scarcity-mindset- I’m sorry and I’m proud of you. I know you can do this and I know you can bring gratitude and compassion to your situation. Until next time, your Journality is waiting!
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AuthorGrateful to share my love for journaling with the world and the Journality community. |